come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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