Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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