Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
now i know why i became what i already was.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
