WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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