her vagine was all disorganized.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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