i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
