This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize