theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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