He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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