update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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