How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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