enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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