No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
