Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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