dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
