I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
