At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize