So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
