a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
