I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize