I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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