id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
