hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
