she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
