I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize