The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize