is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
