I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
