remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
