She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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