also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
