he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
did i just pee glitter
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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