i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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