"it" just moved
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
