Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
