I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I use my feet as sexual weapons
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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