yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
