I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
