We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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