I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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