I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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