Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i now understand why vodka
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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