i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
