You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
