I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I believe in your delicious
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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