Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
