doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
