Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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