why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
