i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
