I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize