Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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