Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
