Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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