LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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