So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
