I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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