you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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