I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
