so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Randomize
