so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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