I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
