her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
