i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize